It’s a healthy/unhealthy dichotomy. I’ve got an immunodeficiency (or two), as well as depression, so, most of the time, I’m conscious of my lack.
Occasionally though, I’ll get ill, as in “I can’t get out of bed, unless I’m heading to the commode” kind of sick, and then I realize how healthy I usually am.
I am not confined to a chair. I can use both of my hands; hell, I have both of each of those things that are supposed to come in pairs when one is a human.
I have my mind. A little worn, maybe, kinda rusty here and there, but it’s all there, more or less. The “can do” attitude comes and goes, but I find myself moving forward, since it seems the direction of greatest potential. I’ve learned that the complete “180° Pivots” that I’ve been frustrated with in the past were minute course corrections instead of “tacking against a headwind”.
The lack of strength, the endurance I enjoyed, the veritable vitality I had year before last still make their absence felt regularly. I’ve had to tell my son I can’t play because I’m too tired. Or that we can play, but maybe Chess or Minecraft instead of Jedi or Firemen or Adventurers.
Which is why I am grateful, that I am getting healthier. I’m still horribly underweight, so that my friends and family are visibly shocked when they’ve seen me, lately. Saddest part is that I have put on a few pounds (3-4) that have stuck around, but every week its a small nudge up. Considering it, I am slowly, minutely, gaining my weight back, but th US Army would say I’m 10-15 lbs underweight… If I were 18. At my actual age of more than double that, I’ve no idea, but adding another 30-40 lbs to my current frame would lose me the Skeletor look, and Deo Gloria, I’ve had my appetite return.
It may be premature, but I’m grateful for my returning health, and for the rest of this whole “consensual, persistent hallucination”.


About Rey d`Tutto

Hey, Y'all, I've been rather ill recently, and that has kinda deprived me of the ability to post regularly. I may or may not ever post regularly again. Thank you for playing.
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